Ecards thanks for dating someone ugly birthday gift ideas for a girl you just started dating

Posted by / 01-Nov-2016 00:49

And no, it does not help your case if you’re actually physically unappealing and doing it on public transportation (like, what kind of story would we tell our grandkids) but it’s not necessarily the only factor.

Sure, they fuck in Walmart parking lots, but they’re kicking their classiness up a notch with missives like “Roses are red/Violets are blue/It’s a good thing my husband/Doesn’t know I’m screwing you.” Poetry! These marketing geniuses also have cards for men — so guys — is there someone you would like to extramaritally fuck, but just don’t know how to express yourself?

You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. and she said watching paper view Yo momma's so dumb she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said Disney World Left so she went home Yo momma's so dumb she went to Gap to fix her teeth Yo momma's so dumb she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had Yo momma's so dumb she went to Walgreens to see if the walls were really green Yo momma's so dumb that when she surfed the internet she put a wetsuit on Yo momma's so dumb she snuck on the bus and paid to get off Yo momma's so dumb she tried to steal a free sample Yo momma's so dumb when I said we were playing craps she went and got toilet paper Yo momma's so dumb when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved Yo momma's so dumb when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like Vroom Screech Vroom Screech Yo momma's so dumb when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put OKYo momma's so dumb when the computer said Press any key to continue she couldn't find the Any key Yo momma's so old her memory is in black and white Yo momma's so old I looked in her year book and saw jesus Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark Yo momma's so old she got hieroglyphics on her Driver license Yo momma's so old she has an autographed bible Yo momma's so old she walked into an antique store and they kept her Yo momma's so old she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible Yo momma's so old she was a waitress at the last supper Yo momma's so old she drove a chariot to high school Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class Yo momma's so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake Yo momma's so old when she ran the 100 meter dash they timed her with a sundial Yo momma's so po she can't even afford the last two letters Yo momma's so poor burglars break in and leave money Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers Yo momma's so poor her front and back doors are on the same hinge Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said Hey who turned off the heater?

It’s not an easy job, but it sure is a fun one, and we love nothing more than to share it with you.

We’ve created a unique list of dirty, funny phrases plus funny card quotes, humor top lists and other jokes for you to share with everyone you love.

Do you not find the thought of divorce, custody battles, and single parenting to be fulfilling and an exciting experience that brings enormous interest? Are you having a hard time bagging up her shit and throwing it on the lawn for the raccoons?

Send her: “Rose are red/Violets are blue/I GPSed your ass to him/Now I’m divorcing you” Does he still think you care?

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You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, "concentrate". I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you. I heard you went to a freak show and got in for free. The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. I hear the only place You are ever invited is outside. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead. I'll hit you so hard you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi! Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. I may be fat but you are ugly, and I can lose weight.